About kaitovillar

20. MNL ✈ JPN here lies the thoughts, the stories that i have yet to share

What saddens me the most is that when I asked him when my birthday was, he didn’t know when it is.


There she goes…

And then you suddenly feel that heart-wrenching pang where your best friend has really left you.

Your life support has left you.
Your crutch has left you.
Your “brain” has left you.
As well as, your “heart” has left you.

And now you suddenly have to venture out the world on your own with your unstable emotions and unguided decisions.

Then you suddenly realize how cruel you’ve been to her all along. No matter how bad she stuck by your side, even if there was this slight sense of hostility that exhumed from yourself just because you can, and just cause you like portraying your character as the mean one.

And another realization comes in, on how you took her presence for granted and how everything mean and unjust that you did to her will never be paid back for all the kindness she gave you.

You are a cruel friend, Kaito.

We were once our own sitcom very much similar to “Will and Grace.” We were the stereotypical fag and the fag hag. No worries, cause we’d still get back together if we’re single and lonely in our 40’s. HAHAHAHA

Playing with fire.

Our mothers have once taught us not to play with fire. We all know that regardless of the mystery, the beauty, and everything else that lures us to the secret this gaseous warm light holds, we know that fire can hurt us. That it can recoil. That we can get burned.

I’m playing with fire here. Two years, and now I have a fighting chance to finally know you, and an absentee boyfriend whom I’ve invested so much on and promised a lot of things (e.g. Marriage) yet still hasn’t made an effort for me.

This is a risk. A huge risk that can burn me. I should stop this. I wouldn’t want to get caught up with fire’s beauty and mystery. Maybe I’m supposed to leave it that way.


Nakakainis lang malaman na ang crush mo for two years ay bading pala. Na may chance ka palang makasama siya. Pagkatapos ng dalawang taong paghahanga mo sa kanya, ikaw ay nag alok sa kanya ng isang date… ngunit parte lang yun ng isang routine para sa pag promote niyo ng organisasyon niyo. Sayang. Oo na sana ang isasagot niya. Ngunit, ikaw ay nahuli na.